they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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