i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
