He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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