Banned from zoo.
Again?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
