Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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