I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
