I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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