Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
