Its about making memories worth repressing
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
