did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
