I don't think brook has ever known best
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
