My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
