we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
