Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
