roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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