Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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