Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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