dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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