Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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