the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
