I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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