oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
