Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize