So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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