if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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