lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
