white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize