i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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