No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
