he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
