**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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