Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
