i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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