it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
