I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
