How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
