Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
