ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
