did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My breasts were aching with rage.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
