Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize