So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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