Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
