we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had to cum in my sink.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
