we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
