Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How external is "for external use only"?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
