I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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