JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
