Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
