honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
