I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
