Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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