people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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