Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
