She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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