Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He has the fingertips of a God
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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