I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
