i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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