you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
