I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
