We named our party play list daddy issues
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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