my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We need to rekindle our bromance
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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