This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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