DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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